One Hot Day

It's mucho hot in our neck of the woods today. The actual temperature is 91, but it feels more like 97 with the humidity factored in. We are expecting some loo-loo of thunderstorms and one can only hope that they cool things off a bit. My little home is not equipped to handle this heat ~ we don't have air conditioning. So instead, I am wearing minimal clothing and the kids are clothing optional. Ah, the joy of being 2 and 3!

Why is that when the heat and humidity rises, patience lowers? The chitlins are extremely cranky and I have less than no patience for them. I feel so bad snapping at them. But what does one do? I can't drug them and force them to sleep all day, although they're acting like they do come bedtime. I guess that I just let them do their thing while I do mine and hopefully, tempers will stay at a simmer.

Dating Advice for Mom

My mother is a member of eHarmony. My step-father passed away about a year-and-a-half ago now and she's looking for someone to travel and hang with. She finally found a nice-sounding gentleman that she is e-mailing back and forth with now. Of course, with my mom being in the dark ages, she's going through me and my computer because she doesn't have one. Now that her social calendar is filling up, I'm going to have to go with her to find one!

Anyway, she calls me today and asks me for dating advice! I laughed at her. Not to be mean. I laughed because I haven't dated for over 14 years! I've been with Hubby since I was 17! A lot has changed over the last dozen or so years! I found it quite funny that she would ask me a question like that.

I don't know what to tell her. It's a strange situation---my mother's dating! Mom's aren't supposed to date! She's 64...she should be baking cookies for the grand kids! But, wait, that's so 1950! What's wrong with her dating? She's a wonderful person, kind of an angel on earth. She deserves to spend her life with an equally wonderful man. She got dealt a bad hand when my step-dad was diagnosed with Alzheimer's at an early age (he was only 70 when he passed). They had a wonderful relationship and one can only hope to have another like that.

I wish Mom luck. I really want her to be happy. She certainly deserves it!

Are SAHMs Setting Themselves Up For Failure?

I was curious to read reviews on Amazon regarding a new book on motherhood called "The Feminine Mistake" by Leslie Bennetts. I had heard that it's quite a controversial read. After reading the reviews, it peaks my curiosity even more.

The basis of the book is that if moms give up their careers to have children, they are setting themselves up for financial disaster. She seems to feel as though moms must keep their high-profile jobs because the likelihood that they'll divorce and be responsible for themselves is extremely high. From the reviews that I read, she references women who are in extremely high paying jobs and probably wouldn't have a financial problem even if they did quit their jobs. She also appears to say that stay-at-home moms are lazy, unfulfilled, and needy.

I myself do work outside the home. I also work inside the house. I chase around a three- and two-year-old, I have dishes to clean and laundry to do as well as picking up countless toys. I see my part-time cashier job as a break from being at home with the children. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE being home with them and I love the fact that my part-time income at least keeps food on the table, but I also love having the time away from home.

Did I quit a high-powered career? No. Did I quit something that would have been financially secure had I stayed at it? No. If my husband and I ever split, I will probably have to work two jobs to make ends meet; before or after kids. So I wish that I could be home with them full-time? I practically am now; I only work 20 hours a week. I do know that sentimentally, I'm glad that I spend the time that I do get with them. I've been able to see my daughter use the potty for the first time and my son mumble his first word (amazingly it was tickle!). Had I been off at a full-time job, the day-care provider would have been there for that. Somehow, to me, that's wrong in so many ways.

Maybe what's wrong with this world today is that not enough parents (moms or dads) are willing to give up their "identity" to raise their children. When I became pregnant with our daughter, I knew I would no longer be the same person that I was. I am defined by who I was and who I am now. I was (and still am sometimes) a very free spirit with her own thoughts and did pretty much as I pleased. I am now a wife and mother of two. I'm proud of that. When I married my husband, I gladly took his name. Taking his name didn't change me...it became a part of me. When I gave birth, I dreamed of the day that my child would say "mama". That is also a part of me.

Having children changes all kinds of things. Ninety-nine percent for the better. There is a small part of me that misses the freedom that I had pre-kids and the jobs that I held. But then, I look at my two beautiful children who are smart, creative and, most of all, ACTIVE and realize that all that I gave up is worth it. I turned out OK. My mom was stay-at-home and she went on to go back to school and have a new career at age 55 from which she is retiring from today. If I can do half the job she did...

More On Rocky

Well, the obsession is even worse than last year. I am in this frame of mind that I am going to create the most movie-correct version of Columbia's costume as I can. I have found a corset and a pair of shorts to make. I already have the jacket, shoes and socks. This year, I have to find the correct pair of fishnets (with backseam of course!). And I plan to do this with the chitlins running around.
This should be interesting! I'll be trying to sew the shorts and corset with them getting tangled up in the thread that's supposed to be in the machine. (Yes, I can sew...Mom taught me how many moons ago.) Hubby will be shaking his head and rolling his eyes as he watches me sew on hundreds of sequins. And, the chitlins will be there to tangle themselves up and pull the thread out of my needle. I'll be lucky to be able to use all the sequins that come in a package since I just know they're going to have a blast throwing them all around the room.
I hope that all this sewing and crafting will instill in them something. Maybe that when you can't find something, find a way to make it yourself? With a little imagination, you can have anything? With a lot of imagination, you can have a wonderful time!

Rocky Horror Show

It's only the end of May and already my friends and I are getting ready to buy our tickets to the Rocky Horror Show in October! I can't believe the insanity! Last October, we had 11 people that went with our group. This year, it's going to be almost two dozen! We took up one whole row (7th from the stage) and this year, we'll practically fill the first three rows!

I actually got Hubby to go last year for the first time. He's not a theater goer by any means of the word. And, he's a big biker dude that just doesn't understand the whole transvestite thing. But, given the gang that we went with, and the whole pretext of the show, he had an absolute blast! He's even going with us again this year!

The madness started three years ago when three friends of mine and I went to see the show. I had seen it when I was 16, and loved it then. Now that I'm a bit older and wiser (16 years older and wiser), I love it even more. I even took the time last year to make a Columbia costume and made up my face to look just like Little Nell in the movie.

As I delve deeper into finding the audience participation guidelines, I'm finding out how much of a cult this Rocky thing is. I e-mailed my best friend to ask her if we belong to a cult...she replied, of course! But, you know what? If this is a cult, then I'm almost completely brainwashed! :) Being able to be completely myself for an evening is so totally refreshing!

I sent a text message out to some other friends and have never seen my phone so busy with messages before! In the span of about 5 minutes, I recruited about 10 people to go! This year is going to rock!!!!!!

Failing New Business

I try hard to make extra money for my family. We live in a very expensive part of New Jersey and working blue collar jobs barely makes for groceries some months. Could we move? Of course, but that would mean leaving all extended family behind. And let me tell you, having two kids and a hubby that thinks he's a kid, I don't know what I'd do without my mom. You ladies that move to another part of the country, far away from your family, I don't know how you do it. Knowing our family is right around the corner certainly helps during stressful times when emergencies happen or need someone to talk to.

So I had a great idea; or so I thought.

Last summer, I decided to turn a hobby into a business. I don't know what I was thinking. We have no extra money to put into advertising or a web site. There are times I can't even afford to buy supplies! But, I trudge on. I try the craft shows and usually do pretty well. But those are hard because I like to spend time with the family on weekends; it's the only time the four of us are all together for at least one day! I tried the internet thing, but never knew that the number of hits on a site could go into negative numbers! But, I trudge on.

I'm told I make beautiful jewelry. I wear it to work and get lots of compliments on it. Ok, you like it...please, buy it! I'll make anything! I'll even make collars for your dogs! Curtain tiebacks, can do! I'm desperate...a special bauble to be buried in...ok, that was un-called for! I'll do children's stuff, outfit a whole wedding party...

Okay, I've ranted enough about what a loser I've become in the great scheme of things...I'm not a famous author (though I'm trying my hand at that, too), I don't create fantastic web sites, I don't invent anything useful...I'm just a mom and a wife trying to get by in this world that depends on keeping up with the Jones'...who are they anyway?

Spongebob or Cartoon Network

My hubby and I are in discussions regarding what our daughter watches on TV. Up until now, the princess has watched Cartoon Network and such classics as Family Guy and Futurama. She'll be turning 4 in August and we're starting to think that these are not the greatest shows. Then again, during the day she watches such wonders as Spongebob and Fairly Oddparents. I don't which is worse. The mouth gets fresher everyday and I don't know if that's a direct result of the cartoons or just the age. In the morning, she'll watch Tom & Jerry. She does know that what's on TV is pretend and not real. She doesn't try to squish the cats in our house, so I don't know why she's got the fresh mouth.

I know that she should be watching wholesome shows like Sesame Street and Mr. Rogers. And she does! She has learned tons from watching Blue and Dora. Hell, she can speak Spanish better than me and I took 3 years of it in school!

I just don't understand what changed with TV from when Hubby and I grew up to now. I re-watch Looney Tunes and they're not that much worse than some of the shows on today's TV. In fact, they're probably a bit better because at least there's some hidden message in them (of course, as a child, you don't know that).

I'm also not saying that Princess spends 24/7 in front of the boob tube. She and her brother play constantly outside. In fact, given a choice, they'd rather be outside getting fresh air and sun. Or playing in their pool. (I tell ya, my tan in the summer is great!) The kids watch TV while drifting off to dreamland at night and when it's quiet time during the day. Other than that, they're off and running.

I guess the question is: do we get her a digital box to watch her cartoons (Nicktoons) 24/7, or do we just turn off the TV?