Wednesday, June 27, 2007

One Hot Day

It's mucho hot in our neck of the woods today. The actual temperature is 91, but it feels more like 97 with the humidity factored in. We are expecting some loo-loo of thunderstorms and one can only hope that they cool things off a bit. My little home is not equipped to handle this heat ~ we don't have air conditioning. So instead, I am wearing minimal clothing and the kids are clothing optional. Ah, the joy of being 2 and 3!

Why is that when the heat and humidity rises, patience lowers? The chitlins are extremely cranky and I have less than no patience for them. I feel so bad snapping at them. But what does one do? I can't drug them and force them to sleep all day, although they're acting like they do come bedtime. I guess that I just let them do their thing while I do mine and hopefully, tempers will stay at a simmer.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Dating Advice for Mom

My mother is a member of eHarmony. My step-father passed away about a year-and-a-half ago now and she's looking for someone to travel and hang with. She finally found a nice-sounding gentleman that she is e-mailing back and forth with now. Of course, with my mom being in the dark ages, she's going through me and my computer because she doesn't have one. Now that her social calendar is filling up, I'm going to have to go with her to find one!

Anyway, she calls me today and asks me for dating advice! I laughed at her. Not to be mean. I laughed because I haven't dated for over 14 years! I've been with Hubby since I was 17! A lot has changed over the last dozen or so years! I found it quite funny that she would ask me a question like that.

I don't know what to tell her. It's a strange situation---my mother's dating! Mom's aren't supposed to date! She's 64...she should be baking cookies for the grand kids! But, wait, that's so 1950! What's wrong with her dating? She's a wonderful person, kind of an angel on earth. She deserves to spend her life with an equally wonderful man. She got dealt a bad hand when my step-dad was diagnosed with Alzheimer's at an early age (he was only 70 when he passed). They had a wonderful relationship and one can only hope to have another like that.

I wish Mom luck. I really want her to be happy. She certainly deserves it!

Tuesday, June 5, 2007

Are SAHMs Setting Themselves Up For Failure?

I was curious to read reviews on Amazon regarding a new book on motherhood called "The Feminine Mistake" by Leslie Bennetts. I had heard that it's quite a controversial read. After reading the reviews, it peaks my curiosity even more.

The basis of the book is that if moms give up their careers to have children, they are setting themselves up for financial disaster. She seems to feel as though moms must keep their high-profile jobs because the likelihood that they'll divorce and be responsible for themselves is extremely high. From the reviews that I read, she references women who are in extremely high paying jobs and probably wouldn't have a financial problem even if they did quit their jobs. She also appears to say that stay-at-home moms are lazy, unfulfilled, and needy.

I myself do work outside the home. I also work inside the house. I chase around a three- and two-year-old, I have dishes to clean and laundry to do as well as picking up countless toys. I see my part-time cashier job as a break from being at home with the children. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE being home with them and I love the fact that my part-time income at least keeps food on the table, but I also love having the time away from home.

Did I quit a high-powered career? No. Did I quit something that would have been financially secure had I stayed at it? No. If my husband and I ever split, I will probably have to work two jobs to make ends meet; before or after kids. So I wish that I could be home with them full-time? I practically am now; I only work 20 hours a week. I do know that sentimentally, I'm glad that I spend the time that I do get with them. I've been able to see my daughter use the potty for the first time and my son mumble his first word (amazingly it was tickle!). Had I been off at a full-time job, the day-care provider would have been there for that. Somehow, to me, that's wrong in so many ways.

Maybe what's wrong with this world today is that not enough parents (moms or dads) are willing to give up their "identity" to raise their children. When I became pregnant with our daughter, I knew I would no longer be the same person that I was. I am defined by who I was and who I am now. I was (and still am sometimes) a very free spirit with her own thoughts and did pretty much as I pleased. I am now a wife and mother of two. I'm proud of that. When I married my husband, I gladly took his name. Taking his name didn't change became a part of me. When I gave birth, I dreamed of the day that my child would say "mama". That is also a part of me.

Having children changes all kinds of things. Ninety-nine percent for the better. There is a small part of me that misses the freedom that I had pre-kids and the jobs that I held. But then, I look at my two beautiful children who are smart, creative and, most of all, ACTIVE and realize that all that I gave up is worth it. I turned out OK. My mom was stay-at-home and she went on to go back to school and have a new career at age 55 from which she is retiring from today. If I can do half the job she did...